November 2006

November 12

Prolapsed what? Where?

I dread seeing a patient being brought to my room by ambulance. Although the EMS guys are friendly, they usually bring difficult kids who are going to require a lot of attention. A few weeks ago I saw this cute little boy on a stretcher being brought to my room. "Prolapsed rectum," the EMS said to me as he walked by. I went into the room and heard the story from his parents. The boy had been constipated and was trying a little too hard to poop, and "something bad happened to his rear end." The mother was devastated and said she had never seen anything so awful in her life. I put on a pair of gloves, had the parents stand the kid up, and took off his diaper. Preparing myself for the worst, I looked at the prolapsed rectum. I didn't see anything. Uh, where else would a prolapsed rectum be? I stopped for a moment, panicked and wondering how I could miss something that should be so obvious. The EMS saw it, the doctors at the hospital he was transferred from saw it, and yet I was seeing nothing. Embarrassed and worried that I was misunderstanding the problem, I said to the dad, "Will you please show me what you are talking about?" The look he gave me screamed "you idiot" more than words ever could. "It's right here," he said, pointing at absolutely nothing. He did a quick double take and his face was quickly as red as mine. We shared an embarrassed laugh, and I left the room, relieved that the prolapsed rectum had fixed itself and that I wasn't as big of an idiot as I led myself to believe.

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November 05

The end of the spider-catching cup

As some of you already know, I have issues with killing insects. I just can't do it. I always have to catch them in a cup and bring them outside. Recently I learned an important lesson- never attempt to catch a spider on popcorn ceiling. The cup won't lay flat against the ceiling and bad things can happen....

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November 01

In an instant

The young couple entered the ER early in the evening with their brand new baby girl. She was beautiful and her parents could not keep their eyes off of her. They thought she had some kind of a virus- she had not been eating and had not had a wet diaper in over a day. They were nervous as all new parents are, but knew that we could fix their perfect baby and have her back to her happy self in no time. After the nurse and the respiratory therapist examined the girl, they decided that something was wrong and alerted the doctor. There was an immediate rush of people into the small ER room, and all the parents could do was stand back and watch. The baby was brought to the trauma room and within minutes the top cardiologists were at the baby's bedside. Pretty soon, a tube was down their girl's throat to help her breathe and they were headed towards the elevator to go up to the ICU. Their daughter would be having open heart surgery within hours. Watching them follow their daughter towards the elevator was heartbreaking- they were almost moving in slow motion. Their gazes were blank stares. This could not be happening. In the elevator, they were up close to their baby and able to see all of the medical devices she was attached to. The mother reached out her trembling hand to touch her baby, but pulled back, too afraid. After gentle reassurances from the medical team in the elevator, she again reached out her hand and had barely touched her daughter when the elevator door opened and the rush to save her daughter's life resumed. As everyone poured out of the elevator, the shocked parents stood there for a moment, the mother sobbing, the father fighting back tears. Hours ago they thought their daughter would be put on antibiotics. Now doctors were preparing her for open heart surgery. I don't remember the girl's name, and I can't remember what she looked like, but I know that I will never forget the expression on that mother's face, and how helpless I felt because I could not do anything to make her feel better.

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