And the award goes to...
~ The award for smoothly avoiding the question: Danielle, for her creative answer when her instructor was showing how to give a shot in the hip for the first time. The patient (who was about to get the shot) asked her, "You've never done this before, have you?" Danielle quickly replied, "She's showing me a new way to give this shot." I guess if you've never done it before, it is definitely a new way, right?
~ The award for the most creative (and disgusting) solution to a problem: Isis, for sitting with her feet out in front of her and dragging herself across the floor when a piece of poop became stuck to her tail. It was hilarious, until I saw the wonderful trail it left behind her.
~ The award for the stupidest question (yes, there is such a thing): my little brother's friend, who asked, "Can blind people cry?"
~ The award for best decision making: Me, after spending two days in OB, for deciding that Mike will be the one who has our babies, and after watching a circumcision, deciding that we will only be having baby girls.
Why nursing?
With butterflies in my stomach, but an excitement I couldn’t explain, I arrived at the hospital for my first clinical experience. "Ann," the patient I was assigned to, was diagnosed with a subdural hematoma related to a fall, and although she had been healthy before the accident, her condition was rapidly declining. I went in and sat with Ann's daughter, who was praying for a miracle. I listened, comforted and listened some more. I assured her that I would do whatever I could to assist her mother with her recovery. Unknown to anyone at the time, a miracle was just what was in store.
You see, Ann was unable to verbally communicate and her nonverbal communication was very limited. She was unable to swallow and frequently her breathing became labored. She was practically comatose, but internally something kept telling me to talk to her as if she could hear me, could communicate and was able to respond. I accompanied her to procedures, talking to her, holding her hand, gently touching her forehead, assuring her I was with her and would not leave her side the entire time. Ann responded by squeezing my hand and was that a smile, however small? I just knew she felt my presence and I was glad I was there with her. For the remainder of the day following the procedure, she was very sleepy. I only disturbed her rest to take vitals and provide medications.
On my last day with Ann, the doctor was in with her when I arrived. He was holding her hand and Ann was responding. Verbally responding. He asked her if she believed in Jesus and she said yes. He said there was no medical explanation for her recovery and that she was what they referred to as a miracle. I was tearing up in the back of the room. WOW, I was able to witness a miracle! What an honor, privilege, unforgettable, indescribable and humbling experience. What a reaffirmation of the decision to go into nursing, making the sacrifices and leaps of faith more than worth it.
(fill name in blank) was a great student!
At the end of each week of clinicals, we have to fill out a self evaluation. I spent about forty-five minutes working on mine last night, and then posted it for my teacher to read and comment on. Between classes today I checked my email and saw that my instructor had replied. I have heard from my classmates that this instructor likes leaving negative comments, so I nervously read through her response. This is what she wrote:
Katie came to clinical prepared with teaching plan and medication module completed and demonstrated knowledge of meds to be administered. Great start this week to identifying patient problems and formulating prioritized nursing diagnoses accordingly. Katie was professional in all her interactions with patients, staff, and peers. Documentation was thorough and accurate. Demonstrated competency in performing a newborn and postpartum assessment. I appreciate your enthusiasm and eagerness to learn. Your patients appreciate you taking the time to teach them and explain self care as well as newborn care to them. Katie was satisfactory in her clinical performance this week. Keep up the good work.
After reading this, I was shocked. Not only did she not say anything negative, she actually said positive things! I was competent in my newborn assessment? Great! I was competent in my postpartum (after giving birth) assessment? Well, that would be great, except for the fact that I never had the opportunity to do a postpartum assessment... Hmm... Danielle sat down at the computer next to me, so I told her to read her evaluation. She opened hers up and surprisingly, she had the exact same evaluation. Word for word (except hers said "Danielle" where mine said "Katie"). What?! We saw our classmate Janet and had her read hers too. They were all identical! I was getting a little frustrated. She at least read what I wrote in my self evaluation, right? Most teachers comment specifically on what I write, but it's ok if she didn't as long as she read the stupid thing. We compared the times our evaluations were sent, and they were a minute apart. The woman didn't even read them! I'm sure she never expected to get caught, but it's too late, we know her little secret. I think we can use this to our advantage. Next week for our self evaluations, one of us will write the evaluation and the rest of us will copy and paste it as our own. I doubt that she will even notice. And if she does notice and mentions it, we'll just say we got the idea from her. My instructors have taught me a lot!
Looking good..
You're hot. You made some little change (started a new diet, switched shampoo brands, ran an extra mile at the gym), and even if no one else can see it, you know you look good. I felt more self-confident yesterday because of a simple little change I added to my life: I have been drinking more water. To help me accomplish this, I bought some Crystal Light powder packets that you add to bottled water. I drank a bottle of fruit punch flavored water and then headed to the store. While walking around at Target, I can't really explain why, but I just knew I looked good. I held my head high and walked around smiling at everyone. By the big smiles people were flashing back at me I knew that they too could see how hot I was. After shopping, I got back in my car and glanced in the mirror. To my horror, the Crystal Light had turned my lips and teeth bright red. Mental note: Check reflection in mirror BEFORE entering a public place.
The joy of cats
Check this out...
Separated at birth?
Mike looks 73% like Freddie Prinze Jr.:
Who do you look like?
Forced volunteering
To graduate from my school, we have to "volunteer." I think that forced volunteering is appropriate for high school students and possibly even college students in some majors, but for a group of college graduates going back for a second degree? Give me a break! I've been in this program for awhile now, and have had time to accept that I have to volunteer, and have actually completed most of my hours. But what I am having a hard time getting over now is this ridiculous journal that they are making us complete. I can only BS so much! Here are some examples and what I want to put as my answers:
1. Describe what you learned from your service.
I learned how to paint a house. I also learned how to put up siding. Most importantly though, I learned the importance of wearing old clothes and shoes when painting a house.
2. Take a concept from one of your courses and describe how it relates to your volunteering.
During one of my clinical rotations, I had a patient who was severely constipated. My classmate Danielle and I had to digitally remove his impaction. This experience reminds me of our service learning because both examples involve people having things pulled out of their #@!. In the clinical case, it is poop being removed. When it comes to service learning, it is this flowery BS about how much we have grown as people by being forced to volunteer.
3. In what ways does engaging civically have anything to do with the reason you want to be a nurse?
Engaging civically? Is that the politically correct way of saying, "being forced to volunteer?" Hmm… I know from the wording of this question that I have to say “yes” somehow… Engaging civically is similar to me wanting to be a nurse because as a nurse there will be things that I do not want to do but that I will have to do anyway.
4. How was your service this semester different than your service last semester?
Ok, now I have no idea how I am even supposed to BS on this one! What do they want from me here? Oh, I know! It was warmer this semester than it was last semester.
5. What about your experience this semester impacted you the most?
Were you not reading carefully? I wasn't the one impacted, the patient was!
Wow, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside after completing this journal! Don't you guys?!
Moderation?
Ungrateful and difficult? Me?!
What surveys? She had never mentioned surveys before. She went into detail about these surveys we were supposed to do (this is how she told us about everything- randomly whenever she thought about it). We realized that we could do those surveys on Tuesday after teaching at the school. This would save us from driving out there twice, and we all prefer getting everything done all at once anyway. Her response to this? "Well, if you do it Tuesday, how are you going to get the banner?" What banner?! Oh, our school banner we are supposed to get from a woman who just happens to be out of the office until Wednesday. Hmm... could you have brought this stupid banner thing up before?! This type of randomly throwing out additional requirements went on for a few more minutes. Us brilliant students kept coming up with ways to work out every problem she threw at us, until she finally said, "You students are so ungrateful and are treating this class like it's a joke!! I forgot how much I hate working with you difficult Accelerated students!" Us? Difficult? Yes. I agree. But treating her class like a joke because we aren't willing to spend $2.70 a gallon to drive to the middle of nowhere just for lunch? Hand me those admission papers, I think my instructor just made some more commission at the psych hospital.....My dancing needs some serious medical attention
Fun with documenting
Advice
What type of driver are you?
1. The wavers. These are the people who do something stupid (like cut you off), but who wave afterwards to show they are sorry.
2. The my-radio-suddenly-needs-changeders. Someone in this group will immediately focus all of their attention on their radio after they do something stupid. Just because you don't see me doesn't mean that I am not glaring at you!!
3. The do nothingers. This is the most frustrating group. They cut you off and do nothing! It's as if they never even realized you were there. Sometimes I fall victim to feelings of road rage and I want to rear-end these guys just to let them know that yes, that huge red thing they saw in their mirror was indeed my car, which they just cut off. Punks.
4. The flip-you-offers. Surprisingly, these people do not upset me that much. At least they are acknowledging your presence!
To my sister, Mary Ann....
Sisters. One minute they are your worst enemy (I still can't get over you throwing up on my head from the top of the stairs), the next they are your best friend. It's amazing when you realize that you have crossed that line and you actually want to spend time with each other. When did that happen? Sharing clothes no longer puts you at risk for whatever gross disease you are sure your crazy sister has, and you no longer have to worry that you are going to be told on for every little thing. You quit teasing each other for having crushes, and begin asking the other for advice (and actually trusting what they have to say). Mary Ann, I am so fortunate to have you as my little sister, and I love you very much. Congratulations on your engagement to Mark. Although I did not arrange this engagement like I did for you and Scott when you were in second grade, I still approve. Mark is a wonderful man (and I'm not just saying that because he let me practice starting IV's on him), and the two of you are going to have an amazing life together. Congratulations sweetie!
Application IQ test
While filling out my application to take the Texas NCLEX (nursing licensing exam), I realized something interesting: the application itself is similar to a grade-school IQ test. Here are some examples: "Affix the check to the top left corner of the application with a paperclip." "Staple photo to the back of the upper right corner of the first page of the application." What happens if I accidentally use a paperclip instead of a staple to affix my photo to the application? Or what if the paperclip and check are on the right corner? I bet I would fail their test and they would not allow me to take the licensing exam in Texas. Now, I know that I can handle these simple tests. However, my school is requiring that we fill out all of our paperwork and then turn everything in to them so they can mail it. Hmm... the faculty at my school taking a grade-school IQ test? I do not have confidence that they will pass. Leaving this responsibility with the people who halfway through the year sent me a letter stating I was missing an important prerequisite (they just misplaced my transcripts- no big deal, right?) is going to keep me up at night.
Miss know-it-all
The classmate orchestra
A few of my classmates have little habits that make me want to scream. A few students raise their hand to tell a story and say, "I was just going to say..." Or if they are asking a question, they say, "I was just going to ask..." I don't know why this drives me crazy, but I want to yell, "Say it! You don't need to introduce your question or story- just get it out and let us get on with class so I can go home and read all 500 pages tonight!" Then there is the "I mean" girl. I mean, she is a wonderful person, but I mean, she too is guilty of telling way too many, I mean, way too many stories. If you were already frustrated, wouldn't that drive you crazy too? Next we have the snorters. There are two girls who sit together in the front row who randomly snort. They don't have anything in their nose at the time, so it's not a "trying to clear the mucous and breathe" snort- it's just a dry, loud, snort. Sometimes it really startles me when they do it.
Yesterday in class, we were getting nowhere with lecture. We were discussing psychological disorders, and each time the instructor would even mention the name of a disorder, several hands would go up and mouths would start moving. I was trying to keep myself calm when "I mean" girl started talking. I looked over at Danielle and we gave each other that, "I'm going to go crazy" look. As soon as "I mean" girl was done talking, one of the "I was just going to say" girls raised her hand, and as soon as she finished her intro, one of the snorters snorted really loud. I looked over at Danielle again and we both just started laughing. I felt really bad, but we could not control ourselves anymore. We were both holding our breath and turning purple trying to hold it in, but you reach that snapping point where you can no longer keep it to yourself. Our classmates had turned themselves into an orchestra. "I mean I mean I mean..." "I was just going to say, just going to say, just going to say..." Snort! Time to leave and go to the penny slots.
Reasons to have a student nurse
1. You will get more attention than you ever thought possible while at a hospital.
2. Everything about you will be fascinating. A nurse who has been on the job for twenty years has seen it all. That five inch gash on your leg? That's nothing. But to a student, that paper cut on your pinkie looks pretty bad, and will get the attention it deserves.
3. Now that they have so many laparoscopic surgeries, you won't have many wounds to show off to your friends to get sympathy once you are out of the hospital. Let a student nurse start an IV on you and you will have a huge battle-wound bruise for two full weeks.
4. You will get to laugh. A lot.
5. Everything will be quadruple checked. The paranoid and nervous student will check each medication three times, and her instructor will check it at least once more.
6. Student nurses are more fun. When an experienced nurse is about to give you an injection and you scream "Ouch," she will give you a funny look or call psych for an evaluation. The nervous student nurse will jump and probably scream too. Which one would be more entertaining for you?
Things my psych patients have taught me
~ It is not funny to tell your psychologist that you want to kill your boss.
~ Psych nurses do not have a good sense of humor when it comes to April Fool's Day jokes. Putting a glass of water on top of the door and having it fall on your nurse will get you a day of lockup (but you will be the coolest kid on the unit).
~ You should not attempt to breastfeed with a straw.
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